Million Tears
by Orange Nakatsu
Summary: SakuSasu fic. Set after the war. Sasuke wonders if he deserves happines and Sakura does everything she can to help him. Consist a little of SaixIno, NejixTenTen. Rated M for the spice at the end.


_The Moon is Mute ( alternative title )_

He was lonely. Yes...He was so lonely that even he couldn't bear it anymore.

The one who is heartless, cold and...pitiable. The fact is that he spent so much time breeding his own hatred for family and everything else, that he started to think that he couldn't live his life another way...That he could only exist by hating, killing, taking revenge and crying over his own sorrowful self...He could only hate, kill, avenge and cry. But that's what he thought. It wasn't knowledge, because human nature is unguessable, there aren't any facts that define humane emotions and behaviors. It was a prediction, a mere hypothesis, which was made by himself because of his mere human mistake, that is thinking he's deciding his life only by himself, which isn't true at all. He had had a family, he had been in a team, later on he had decided to get stronger and to do that he had to be a disciple once again. He had encountered too many people to not be affected by them. He had not been alone, but he was lonely. That is...Until he fought that boy again. He lost. Not because he wasn't strong enough, but because he finally understood that he's only a human...and not some killing machine. That blond haired fellow opened his eyes to something so obvious, but for him something very unclear...

And this is how Uchiha Sasuke could once again be considered as a teammate, friend and lastly as Konoha resident. He could finally go back to the place, where he unconsciously created his own home.

The residents of Konoha Village still struggled to rebuild their home to it's former state. Everybody helped each other. On the streets were visible many wood parts and bigger implements. Many holes had been dug and overall it was quite messy. Although everything was going rather slowly, nobody complained. They were happy that families could reunite and bunch of kids could finally hang out without any worries. But not all people were like that...

''So he's the one who killed Danzou?''

''Yes...I believe it is him. He's the only Uchiha left. I also heard that he murdered his own brother.''

''Wasn't he a missing-in too?''

''He was. But still...Killing his own brother...Isn't it a little too cruel?''

''He is scary...It would has been better if he has never came back here.''

Two older ladies were glancing at Sasuke with rather disgusted way. It's not like he didn't hear it. He's a powerful shinobi after all. It's just that it happened way too often to care about it anymore. It started to be his daily routine _ignoring others' disturbing and unpleasant presences._

''I'm sorry grannies, but could you stop gossiping and let me finally buy something from your shop?'' a girl with sharp eyes said in a mean tone frowning additionally to make those female shop keepers feel extra unpleasant.

''Oh, right...I'm sorry.'' apologized one of them while both were seemingly embarrassed. They handled the business really fast.

''Sakura..'' murmured the handsome Uchiha.

She saved him. When didn't she? She always did. He felt that she was being too good for him and sometimes he couldn't bear it.

''Hi. What's up Sasuke-kun? Are you going to Naruto? I'm back from Tsunade's office.''

Sakura matured a lot. She wasn't smiling stupidly whenever she saw him. But that doesn't mean that she's not smiling...She is...And awfully a lot to tell the truth. He wondered why. After he almost killed her. She still treated him nicely. _Huh...She's always been a weird one._ He chuckled.

''Yeah. I kind of wanted to meet him, but not necessarily...'' answered Uchiha.

''Those people are really unbelievable! You helped us after all and they still badmouth you...If I hear them saying something like that once again I'm gonna...!'' Sakura tempered up, when she noticed some gossipers doing their job again.

''Don't bother. I understand them. I hate myself as well so what's wrong with other people hating me? It seems alright...''

It was the truth. After seeing how much damage he caused to the village, he started blaming himself. He hurt many people by his immature thinking and the will to avenge on the whole Konoha. And then he came back to the same place he wanted to destroy. It was somehow humiliating.

She gazed at the man before her with those deep, cheerful eyes. But they were not cheerful at all. She couldn't stand him being hurt. She never liked it. She hated when anybody got hurt, in fact. But he was close to her, that's why it pained young Haruno even more.

''Sasuke-kun...Do you think people will hate you for your whole life? Are you stupid or something? You're only viewing this world in gray colors and feeling or seeing only negative things! When will you learn that people can be happy and deserve happiness? You deserve it?'' Sakura almost shouted. She couldn't wait anymore. She wanted her team to be the same as before. But Sasuke has changed...So she needed to change him back.

His eyes widened. It shot him, but not enough to pierce him through.

''Come with me!'' she commanded as she took his hand and started running. He didn't have too much time to react to that. He was too shocked to say something but after a while he simply chose to say nothing and follow her nicely.

''Here we are.'' informed pink haired girl while panting a bit. She let go of Uchiha's hand and raised her glance over him.

''Why are we here?'' he finally asked. They were in a hospital. In the upper floor where were many doors.

''Look over there...'' Sakura pointed at the last door in the corridor. They silently went in it's direction. Loud and quieter noises came to Sasuke's ear.

''Is it?'' His face looked surprised.

''Yeah...There's a woman giving birth there right now. I want you to look at it.''

_Alright...Now she's not making any sense. What does that have to do with him? _

Either way he went inside. There was a lot of space and everyone was busy so nobody really minded them. Sasuke knew that something like that takes hours but he had time and he somehow was curious...what Sakura really wanted to show him.

The lady which was giving birth was very beautiful. She was struggling, making tired and painful expression, but something about her whole appearance was beautiful. Young Uchiha thought that she was about 30. Beside her stood her husband holding her hand for all this time, and a little girl with fair braided hair. The man was anxious squeezing his wife's hand very tightly. His eyes were filled with care. He must has loved her very much...The girl on the other hand seemed a little frightened. She was around 10. She was scared, seeing how hurt her mom is, but at the same time she wanted to comfort her. It was something which didn't have a price. Her innocent looking eyes, which showed her attachment, as pure as white ice.

The room was suddenly filled with screams. He was finally free...Finally alive. He could finally breath. He was so happy that he screamed!

The painful expression on the mother's face now was gentle. She smiled with so much honesty, that grace which emanated from her could be felt from where the two shinobi were standing. The husband's face drastically changed. He smiled. He looked at his newly born son with so much love. It's like the love he felt for his wife was doubled in this one small life. The little girl...She was happy. Just simply happy. As she saw something beautiful, new, interesting for the first time. It was ordinary joy. So ordinary that it wasn't even a joy anymore.

''Mommy, mommy! Can I hold him? He's so pretty! Can I hold him?'' the braided girl asked with an excited gaze.

The infant wasn't pretty at all. It was wrinkled and red. The boy was small and disproportionate. He was crying loudly, couldn't see and also smeared in blood. He wasn't beautiful at all...

''So what do you think?'' Sakura looked at the sunset while sitting next to Sasuke on one of her favorite benches.

''I'm sorry...'' he whispered loud enough for her to hear. He made her surprised and she turned around to see his face. It was glowing from the sun rays. Sakura always knew that he was handsome...But know she knew it even more.

''If you want to know why I'm apologizing it's because I hurt you. I have never properly apologized for that. I'm also sorry for not knowing why you don't hate me after all that I've done to Naruto and you. And thank you...For showing me that thing in the hospital. I think it's the first time that I've seen someone so blinded by the happiness. I guess you can be blinded not only by hatred. ''

She was listening to him. To his every word. Sasuke Uchiha was sitting right next to her telling her his feelings. She started to cry...He was such a sad person. Now she knew why she wanted to be near him no matter what. Why she fought over and for him...It was to simply make him happy. She just selfishly wanted him to be happy.

''I'll try...To be born again and be able to show my happiness just like that baby. I think I always wanted that, but never really admitted to it and didn't know how to get it. I guess you don't really have to try that much...''

Sasuke stopped. He noticed her tears.

''Why are you crying? Stupid...'' he bluntly stated.

''I guess I'm always stupid when it comes to you...''

A smile mixed with tears. Honesty mixed with grief. Present mixed with past. Once again. Those million worth tears were shed for him. He always thought she was annoying. Because she easily could be saddened, quickly could get angry. She often panicked and more than often she was more than kind to him. In other words - annoying. But here she is...Crying because of him. Today he's seeing her tears as something different, beautiful, reminder probably?. Because she has so much emotions inside of her while he had only few, negative ones. Until now. Even though she's crying, he's happy. Yes he is. Maybe he always wanted someone who would care for him as much as she did? Maybe he deserves happiness after all?

''Sakura...Let's start going out.'' proposed Sasuke.

The girl in question stood still. Even though she had always been dreaming and imagining her _prince _confessing...In her imagination she always made shocked or teary expression, while gazing at him...Later on she would always blush and hide her face. But when she did that he came to her, lifted her face and said she is truly beautiful. And then they would sink in each other's embrace...Irony? There wasn't a blush, there wasn't any kind of shock at all. He also didn't embrace her. He knew her answer too well to confirm it with words or a gesture. These were only words..

They were going out for a year now. Members of Team 7 were 18...It's been 6 years since they started being friends. Although they went through a hard and long way to keep that friendship, they succeeded. It was surely worth all that.

''Hey, Sasuke!'' screamed Naruto Uzumaki along whole street which resulted in everyone knowing that this blond trouble-maker was coming this way.

''Oi, Naruto...Aren't you going to be a Hokage soon? Do you still have time for all that screaming and running around?'' asked Uchiha staring at the panting friend.

''Baka! How many times do I have to tell you, that you need to become wiser and let go of your stupid personality? People don't want an irresponsible ruler, you know?'' added pink haired young woman.

''Ugh...Stop nagging Sakura-chan. I wanted to invite you both to a party. You gonna go, right?''

The couple looked at each other for a while and then transfered their eyes onto Uzumaki.

''I think we don't have any plans for tonight...'' murmured Sasuke in response. The Hokage to be smiled cheerfully. He was really happy now. He had everything he ever wanted. Good friends, people respected him and weren't scared of him any longer. Also his biggest dream was going to be fulfilled soon. He wanted to share his joy with everyone. His best friends were ones of his victims. _Oh well...They don't mind it. _

''They're here!'' a familiar voice yelled in a crowded place. It was Rock Lee. Everyone sitting by the table turned their heads to face entering friends. The party seemed big. There was about 50 people. Most of them were familiar to Sakura and Sasuke, but some were unknown. Most of their friends were present. Although Shikamaru had to do an errand for Tsunade and Neji with Hinata had to attend a family meeting the party was still fun without them.

''You know what? Sei asked me on a date!'' announced unexpectedly Ino during usual girls talk, after Team 7 accustomed to the atmosphere and was partying all the way.

''Really? Congrats Ino...You had your eyes on him for 2 years!'' said Sakura happy for her friend. Even if they were bickering a lot, she still treated her as one.

''Yeah. It's really cool. I wonder when that brick Neji's gonna finally admit his feelings...''

Tenten was only one of the girls from this group who never had a boyfriend. She never had time - that's what others could think, but in reality she didn't want to date just anyone. _It had to be that young Hyuuga! _

''Haha...Tenten. You're still waiting for him? Not good, not good.''

''You can joke about it, but I find it as a very serious problem! You know...I wanna get married early!'' cried kunoichi anxiously chewing on a straw.

''Seriously...Get a life...And what about you and Sasuke, Sakura? Any progress? I'm meaning THAT. You know...'' tempted Yamanaka while giving her friend a special stare.

''Ino! You really love joking, don't you?''

Haruno blushed making angry expression addressed right at Ino. The rest of girls stirred up. Excitement appeared on their faces.

''Oh come on. We all want to know. You're dating for a year already! Does he really love you, Sakura?''

Those words have echoed in her head since that time. She wasn't sure of it. Actually she knew that he didn't love her at the time he proposed to her. She knew it too well, that's why those words made her heart ache. Because the truth was, that he had always treated her badly, or even ignored her...So why would he like her now? She shivered, grabbed her bedding and stared behind a window. She didn't like it. The feeling of almost knowing, but still hoping it's not the truth.

The hope really makes us, humans hopeless, doesn't it? It makes us dream, it's living in us as a small flame, ready to make a strong blaze whenever it's needed. It makes us go on with even the most foolish fantasies. It kills our rationality. But why do we still love Hope so badly? They say a Hope is a mother of fools. So does that mean that humans are stupid? Yes, we are and No, we aren't. Just like those two answers, the hope consists two ways out. It's her nature to give us one questions and two replies. But it depends on people, how to find out which one is correct.

_I have to do something about it... _

He stood in some dark place. It was cold, but he probably only imagined it in his own mind. He didn't remember what he did, but one day she just came to him and said:

''I guess I'm not so stupid after all...''

...and walked away. Without further explanation. He was thinking about it a lot. She was crying then.

_Million worth tears_

_slipping through her cheeks,_

_slowly falling down_

_and crashing on the ground._

It bugged him. He couldn't let this image go out of his head.

If the memories could have legs, he would like them to walk away.

And if the thoughts could have wings, he would make them fly far away,

maybe then his mind would finally find peace.

But he didn't want any peace! He wanted to know why she avoided him and just by mere sentence put him in a state like this! He would rather kill the memories and slaughter the thoughts to know the answer he wanted!

He hasn't seen her for 2 months...

It was killing him, paining him, hurting him. He wanted to die out of this unawareness. He didn't know what to do. This uneasy, gross feeling. He was shivering inside while being frozen outside. It's because of her tears!

It's like the memories came back from dead. But all he saw was her crying face. Why it always appeared before him? She smiled so many times, why those tears are the things that he remembers the most? He couldn't stand it anymore. The burning feeling in his chest and the fire set in his head. He went out to see her...

_It was midnight._

_Everywhere was dark,_

_only the stars were shining bright._

Her window was open, so he sneaked inside. She was sleeping soundly, he sat on the windowsill.

_The silk curtains were tickling his face_

_whenever the wind wished them to dance._

He gazed at her body. When she was sleeping it always was in a messy pose. She looked ungraceful, but the moonlight made her skin into delicate porcelain. _He wanted to touch her_. Now he started to study her face. Soft lips, which he had kissed for countless times, were pale this night. The moon took their cheery-like color. It was probably jealous... Her cheeks were pinkish, but he didn't know why. Usually her complexion was bright, just as she was. It was pale this night. His sight wandered to her hair. It was much longer now. She had a cheery tree on her head. The silky petals have fallen on her chin, shoulders, breasts and eyes. She really is in a mess when she sleeps...

He finally noticed one, little tear resting in the corner of the eyelash. She has been crying.

The man slid down the windowsill. He carefully sat in the corner of the bed. That tear in her eye. Why would she cry? Something in his chest leaped. Her million worth tears...Were actually much more than tears to him. Why was he always so blind? Not blind to actions but to emotions. Especially his own. She grew into him. She wasn't worth the same as before to him. It changed. But he hasn't noticed it.

The slender hand reached the pale cheek. She slowly opened her eyes feeling his presence. He didn't stop. He wiped that salty water from her face. Their eyes meet. Both pair of eyes said too many things in one gaze. Her hands embraced his neck.

''I...I just wanted to see, if you really love me...''

_She forced words to come out_

_from her trembling mouth._

He understood everything in the split of second. He grabbed her waist enticing her to himself firmly. It was her little revenge. For everything he has ever done. For every quarrel, for every time he has made her cry or angry. For the way he has treated her and Naruto during the war and lastly for using her to gain his own happiness. It was her little revenge, which he had nothing against. He didn't care that she made his head burn from to much thoughts. The thing that was most important to him was that he could hold her. The scent of her body, the sensation he felt when her body met his. Just her mere touch sent shivers through his spine.

Lust lurked in his heart. He started kissing her neck, and went higher to attack the lips. She moaned in surprise. The sensation of his tongue in her mouth made her forget, that she was about to cry. He situated her on the bed and went atop her.

''Sasuke...'' the first time she's ever said his name.

_He didn't stop the play._

_He started to undress his prey._

She knew. From the way he kissed her, the way he licked her and touched her naked body. He would never answer by saying simple words, which had hurt her many times. He needed to claim his discovery as his as soon as he found it. She didn't mind his ridiculous way. She got her answer...The sensation she felt from the way he moved his tongue and fingers - that was her reply.

''Sakura...Sakura, Sakura, Sakura, Sakura...'' he whispered with so much passion that she couldn't resist anymore. Tears of happiness fulminated from her eyes. If the man atop her was Sasuke Uchiha from the past he would have probably thought _''Why does she always cry?'' _

''Sakura...Did you know? That your tears are worth more than million?'' he asked kissing her on the forehead. She smiled. She shook her head. He whispered the answer in the woman's ear.

The moon was the only witness of their burning passion. Everything else was blind to their act and deaf to their sounds. Too bad the moon is mute...If it wasn't then maybe it could tell me, what that answer really was?


End file.
